There was a time I wasn’t always a single mother.

I was married with a pretty awesome guy.

Me and this awesome guy were madly in love and wanted a baby.

When one of my bestest friends got pregnant, I was beyond happy. I love that kid with all my heart and he satisfied my baby craving…for awhile.

And then we got married in a fairy tale wedding and on a fairy tale wedding night, we made YOU Ethan.

38 weeks and 3 days later, you came into this world with a receding hairline and a superman fist.

You changed my life.

I knew what love was, but honestly, you WERE love. You were every single little ounce of happy and love me and awesome guy had balled up into this tiny little bundle of wonderful.

When the doctors put you on my chest for that very first time, right out of my belly and onto my chest, I cried. You had your eyes wide open and we looked at each other and I kissed your little bald head and said “You are perfect” because you were and you are.

Ethan, you are truly the perfect little baby.

You have the best personality in the world. You love meeting new people and smile and act shy and coy ( although you always make sure Momma is near by).

You love to smile, and still to this day crack up at yourself when you sneeze.

You love food. There is not one edible thing that you will not try.

You are the biggest flirt. There is not one face you will not caress, and I will never get tired of your free open mouthed sloppy spit fueled kisses.

There is no greater sleep than sleeping with you pressed on my chest side to side with your hands in my mouth. I don’t understand why you do this Ethan, but it makes you happy so I am happy.  

You love to crawl and sit down and stand up and crawl and bounce and you do.not.sit.still.

You can spend hours, literally hours, blowing raspberries and soaking the entire front of your shirt and laughing hysterically as you alternate in tone and length.

I have yet to find a car ride you win against in the sleep battle.

You bring me so much joy, its almost not fair and no matter what I am feeling, I can never do anything but smile at you, even when your being a little brat.

Me and awesome guy aren't together anymore, but doesnt change the fact that we are both madly in love with you Ethan. Life isnt always what we think its going to be, and things DO change, but one thing that will never ever change, is how much I love you and the fact that plain and simple, you are my everything <3

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